April 21, 1942.
My dearest darling,
This letter I don’t know how to start has as after the letter you sent me Saturday I can still hardly think straight. I feel as tho I’m about scared to write anything to you about it because you will perhaps take anything I say in anger. After that letter I won’t know how to write any more. I just won’t tell you what happen in my school lie or barracks as you wouldn’t take up what I think you like in a view that I do.
Well hon if your still willing to listen to my explanation of everything which brought the explosion about I’ll do my est. You perhaps will send me back another letter with another lecture to “awful me”. But just wait – get this through you very pretty and sweet little head – I love you – I LOVE YOU and I never would ever ever, do anything in this world if I thought it would make you dislike me. In other words darling I always want to do everything which will make you proud of me, and by all the rules of Heaven, I will – don’t ever fear. No girl in the world deserves the best of everything like the one who is my sweetheart. Never, never think for one moment I’d do anything to endanger my record, because all the time I keep saying that no matter how hard or small the work or orders I have to follow maybe , that do them right and obey everyone to the last inch because it all helps me in striving to obtain my goal and living with the swellest girl out in the future.
Betty angel, I was so upset yesterday I was actually sick all over, my heart was broken till I heard your dear voice over the phone. When I heard you sound so sweet and not angry, I felt like somebody had lifted a large dark cloud off me. After I left the building I made the phone call I went back to my bunk and tried to sleep only I guess I was to upset. I just tossed all night long. You see hon, if you wanted to say these things to me when were together I could have told you just what had happened and it was so ordinary to us here that when I got your letter about it I never thought it made such a large opinion on your mind. But not being able to speak to you, you can imagine how I felt when you said some of those pretty harsh things to me. When I read on and on my throat just went dry and when I got to the part where you said “cross me off your list” I went to pieced. I can’t explain how just awful it made me feel. I just for the life of couldn’t believe that it was a letter from the girl I thought loved me so much.
The enclosed duplicate of your letter Betty is one I copied from the original. I threw the letter out but later took it back and patched it together. I at first wrote a very angry letter right on the back of it but I said no matter how mad and sick I felt I wouldn’t send something I would be sorry for. But on this one enclosed I just wanted to show you how I felt when I got yours. It is something I can’t explain. Now don’t take the remarks on it as madness its just the way I felt yesterday when I received it!
I just want to forget all about this little flare-up as I love you to much to have a little quarrel make you dislike me darling.
Darling – I’ll put it this way. I’m sorry if anything I did seemed to hurt you, and from now on I won’t discuss in letters anything which from your point of view seems to make me, well as you say (a bad litter boy). If you will promise me, you also wont fly off at me when something disturbs you.
Its to silly for both of us. I know I love you + you love me (at least I hope you still do.) and why did it all start anyway? – you tell me honey bunch. Lets kiss and say “forget it ever happened” OK? Now I will try to say a few things about my ways and such here.
Yes hon, I’ve had a couple of scraps but one I admist was my fault and I admitted to you + everyone (thats the night I fooled around) and then the last one which I was justified in and in fact praised by the other boys for doing it.
Since that first little scrap that fellow + I are the best of pals. I said to him that I was sorry as perhaps I should converse my humor til mornings and he said he was sort of flew off to. So we shook. THe other bad actor is quite calmed down and is behaving and he and I get along just as nothing happened only I don’t get over chummy with him And as far as being well liked with all the gang, all I can say is there is a buddy in the whole outfit which wouldn’t do anything for me and me for them. We were more or less strangers the first week and none of new the others to well but boy! It seems we all are a happy and humorous bunch.
Hon, we don’t fool, only in afternoon at our recreation time. I’m far from being childish (where did you ever get that idea?!!) You know me. I do like a good joke and practical jokes only I don’t over do them and I do know that there.
There two things I hope I’ll be able to obtain and thats first of all, above all else, you darling, secondly, to become a Marine Corps pilot. (Betty this is going to be a long road. I know. It’s one of the hardest things here to get to be a pilot).
Please I beg of you again don’t ever jump to conclusions like you did last week. I think if you look back at any of my letters you will find that when I did feel a little disturbed at something or other I never once was angry AT YOU. I might have been mad at something or someone but the letter always explained to you not to take it as being angry at you. I never was nor will I ever be at you only I came darn close to when I received the letter. But even though you blasted quite a bit at me, for which in some places was a little untrue, I couldn’t really get mad at you loving you the way I do.
Being so far from you handicapped my being able to explain so I tried to point out the things I did burn up a little at in the letter enclosed. Picture me as tho I’m standing right there when I say this – PLease darling lets try to always be as happy as we can and to both control our little tempers because I know if anything ever came of a little minor quarrel I never could live without you and I most certainly wouldn’t care to live, and as long as we both love each other lets both through out our lives work for each other. I don’t mean to be poetic or whatever you call it but I do want so much to get across to you that I would go through “Hell and high water for ou, my one and only”.
Write my immediately darling and say you love me will just forget the little spat as I will be able to have a more relieved mind. Until I hear from you it can’t feel the way I did because I think your still mad at me. I’m sorry what ever wrote caused you to write such a letter to me. Aren’t you a little sorry to for what you wrote me? I think if I know you the way I think do you might be just a little when you really think about some of the things you said. Huh?
I didn’t get any mail to-oday so I don’t know what to say about anything else.
Your voice was just like an angel to me hon,I would give a million if I could just hear you just once in a while, while I’m here. (Sometimes you must really hate me – but I love you and you could hate me to the bitterest and I still would love you.)
Oh yes, I knew there was something I wanted to say and that is I don’t think I’ll be back near home again because of the way things are going across. We are crowding and cutting down on studies in order to rush ahead to be able to fulfill the vacancies at the fronts. No more furloughs at the completion of school as we either leave for active duty or gunnery school in Pensacola then for action. *No sweet theres no “kid stuff” here.) This is if they decide not to let any of us be pilots. I’ll still try until the last fun is first tho. But where and when the call for action comes I’ll go willingly knowing it will be where my country needs me best. Only I would want to see you at least once just to see and kiss you and all before leaving. I could go feeling a million times stronger.
Hope you understand this very mixed up letter, sweet.
I close with the words closest to my heart – I love you dear.
P.S.- The “guy” whose heart you almost broke. But he’s O.K. now. When his “gal” is O.K. so is he. I love you.